Chris Columbus

Harry Potter and the Philosopher`s Stone

How much do you know about Harry Potter? It`s the coolest wizard for a pre-teenage audience. There are books about him, there are cups and cakes bearing his name,his own lingerie line: you name it. And there`s the first part of the film about him. After having already seen the second part (I usually choose a stupid order for watching everything), my expectations for this film were lower than the IQ of an average American. But I was proved to be wrong! No, this ain`t no Frederico Fellini or Benvenuto Cellini (the latter wasn`t even a filmmaker) but this is a good film for children. At least there are no silly flying cars in this part of the film. But there`s a stone that makes you live forever, and there`s an evil teacher who works for Volodja the wicked (not for mr. Putin, if you keep asking). And there are quite a few little children that manage to stop him from obtaining that stone. To be honest, I don`t really remember, why I preferred this film to the second part when I watched it, but it somehow seemed less silly. Oh, I remember - John Cleese can be seen for a bit more than half a minute and he even says a few funny things. If he had been the main star of the film it would have been a masterpiece. And Harry Potter could even appear in some scenes.
2004-07-20 00:00:00
film, 2001

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

This is a movie based on a book based on a film called "Elvira, the mistress of the dark". Do you remember that black haired sexy witch with the curves that could drive you wild? Now that was one hell of a film! But what does that little dork Harry got to do with her? Did he screw her or what? Nah, she`s his sister, and that`s a certain thing. Ok, not a sister maybe, but a cousine definetely. Do you remember when her evil uncle killed her mother but she somehow survived and later was raised by some idiots? It`s the same here in Harry Potter, and even the sequence showing those days was if not an exact copy, then a cover version of this great (!) film. If you`re after plain and stupid characters, boy you`re in for a wild ride! There`s the evil dude living in a diary who seems to be a forever reappearing villain that`s bound to last a lunchtime, and there`s the little guy with his magic wand trying to stop him. There`s certainly not enought John Cleese as Nearly Headless nick to save this movie from being a useless cinematic cash-in. Ok, it may be not the worst film for children, but heck - can you name a film for children that seems stupid even for three year-olds? At least I can`t.
2004-07-14 00:00:00
film, 2002