Team America: World Police
film — USA — 2004

Do you know why guys with puppets get chicks? Because they are totally cool. And how cool is a cartoon full of puppets? Way cooler than a cooler you would require for a 3GHz processor. So, this is brought to me by the guys who also brought "Southpark" to the bigger and smaller screens of the world. There`s Gary, this Broadway actor, who likes singing about people having AIDS, and he gets drafted by "Team America" - an organisation specialising in fighting terrorism and destroying everything in their way (Paris, for example). The North-Korean leader Kim (I have forgotten his last name) is planning a world wide terrorist attack, 9/11 times 2000 or something like that. Gary wouldn`t normally participate, for his idol Alec Baldwin is on the other side, but for his love to Lisa he does. And he saves the day. The film is a spoof, of course, and it has all the cliches you want to see in an action film. Oh, and there`s a funny sex scene in the film. Dolls having sex? You bet! The humor is quite crude, and there`s quite a lot of explicit texts in here, but there`s also a hero`s speech which I`ll give in the end as a quote. What`s my opinion? Those guys are trully daring, and their take is an interesting one, but a) I don`t like to look at dolls for this long; and b) huge parts are not funny.
Quote: "We`re dicks! We`re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don`t like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn`t appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes."
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