Ella Enchanted
film — USA — 2004

Hey, this is a fairy-tale! It is not based on true facts, if you want to know! Like a fellow I know said: "Sweet Mushu the honey baby!" Ok, I don`t know the fellow who said that. But I do know the guy who called this film a remake of Shrek with live actors. There was no donkey, though. And that`s a big minus. Damn, how could anyone forget about the donkey? Still, there`s an elf named Slannen who plays the donkey part. I think, of course, that a donkey would have done a much better job, but it`s not me who`s opinion you`re after. No, sir-ee! Ella has a gift from her fairy godmother - she has the gift of obedience - and if someone tells her to do something she does just that. And I mean literary! Since this is a film for children nobody orders her to perform a fisting or golden rain, but she still does lots of silly stuff. She falls in love with the beautiful prince Charmont but his evil uncle Edgar wants them both to die. Yeah, and that Edgar fellow has a perfectly terrible CGI snake. Man, even I could create a snake like this for a couple of beers and a free edition of 3D Studio Max! Ok, I don`t drink beer, but you get the point. Ella has to stop Edgar from killing her and her pretty boy (who ain`t that pretty at all, if you ask me) and find the fairy to take her marvelous gift back. What`s good about this film is that despite not having a donkey (a very stupid decision) it has a Monty Python member Eric Idle. Whopee! I`d probably prefer this film not having anything but Eric Idle, and a donkey, of course, but a bit of Eric Idle and no donkey is surely better than Richard Gere having sex with Julia Roberts. So, this film is okay, if not better than that. A fairy tale with a silly plot and silly actors, but that`s all right with me.
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