Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

This is a movie based on a book based on a film called "Elvira, the mistress of the dark". Do you remember that black haired sexy witch with the curves that could drive you wild? Now that was one hell of a film! But what does that little dork Harry got to do with her? Did he screw her or what? Nah, she`s his sister, and that`s a certain thing. Ok, not a sister maybe, but a cousine definetely. Do you remember when her evil uncle killed her mother but she somehow survived and later was raised by some idiots? It`s the same here in Harry Potter, and even the sequence showing those days was if not an exact copy, then a cover version of this great (!) film. If you`re after plain and stupid characters, boy you`re in for a wild ride! There`s the evil dude living in a diary who seems to be a forever reappearing villain that`s bound to last a lunchtime, and there`s the little guy with his magic wand trying to stop him. There`s certainly not enought John Cleese as Nearly Headless nick to save this movie from being a useless cinematic cash-in. Ok, it may be not the worst film for children, but heck - can you name a film for children that seems stupid even for three year-olds? At least I can`t.
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