Kazhes pierakstu burtnīca

This was the very last film I watched before my hard disk crushed. And that isn`t a thing to joke about. Pedro Almadovar is already a familiar face to me - his latest film "Bad Education" is still quite fresh in my memory. But this film is better than the movie about gays. Not that "AAMM" lacks in contraversy - there are two crossdressing prostitutes in this film as well, there are lesbian actresses, a pregnant nun that has the HIV who`s pregnant from the same person that was the father of the guy who started to write an essay "All About My Mother" before he died hit by a car. But in this film at least the leading woman character Manuela is particulary normal, and she does her best overcoming the loss of her only child. The nun is played by Penelope Cruz and she`s absolutely gorgeous. What amazes me in this film is that there is absolutely no nudity on the screen, quite unlike what could be seen in "Bad Education". And what does it make me think of - while straight directors show naked women, homosexual directors show only naked men, and since there aren`t any homosexuals around this time from the aestethical point of view this movie is purist. The film is full of positive energy despite the fact that it can drive you to tears.

Ali G is the coolest dude around. He has a ding dong bigger than king-kongs, he rides a car where one one side there`s a sticker "Ali G" and on the other one "Me bitch". He`s the leader of the westside gang of his suburb. And he`s a complete loser. You must know who Ali G is - that`s a funny English guy who makes fun of rappers, gang members etc. Some of his jokes are totally primitive and pervert, just like in any teen comedy, there`s a scene when his dog lick Ali in the private parts, there`s a scene where a blind man touches him in his private parts - hell, there`s gazillions of dick jokes in this film, and they are not funny. But the gang jokes are in deed. I like the scene where a cop comes by and tells to the westcoasters to sit on a bank in the park, and one of Ali`s pals explains to him in the "nigga" language that there`s no way they`re gonna obey him, but when the cop warns that he could call their parents, they all sit down immediately. About the plot - Ali G becomes the member of the British parliament and does his best to be silly, and by doing that he saves the premier ministers butt from beign kicked. Hey, I thought of a strange parallel once again - this film was inspired by "Mr Smith goes to Washington", only in the latter nobody sucked Smith`s genitals but that was probably that way because such scenes were cut out.

A young fellow goes to a boarding school. Some things happen to him, some - to others. The novel contains lots of stories that aren`t too closely related. Several of them are memorable, most are not.

A truly crazy book. That is the least realistic piece of Soviet literature I`ve read in my entire life. The author must have been on some weird communist drugs when he wrote that. I don`t say that this is a communist book, by no means it is anything like that but it is certainly much too crazy for me to understand it. The book seems to be going in 10 directions at the same time, not really wanting to say anything. I may be a little too old fashioned, but that`s not the kind of literature that I can appreciate - even "Ulysses" made more sense. Probably, had I taken my time and read it three times over again, I might have understood more. But I`m too lazy for that.

It`s a wonder that I hadn`t seen this film before. You wouldn`t guess - but this film is about sex, and it`s about Sharon Stone having sex with Michael Douglas, and that`s a thing they do quite enough. And, since Stone`s character is a bisexual murder she also has sex with some other people of both sexes and kills some people as well. Douglas` character is a cop who has some drinkning problems but his psychiatrist is helping him out - both mentally and physically, still she gets murdered, but that doesn`t mean that Douglas and Stone can`t be together anymore. Quite a nasty film I dare saying with enough erotics, but otherwise a bit too much of the crime/thriller shtick for me.

You know what? I decided to give Francois Truffaut another chance! I had seen one of his worst films - "Fahrenheit 451" - and now I wanted to see his arguably best work. And you know what? It was worth it. Antoine Doinel is a fourteenyearold who`s not happy at school, `cos the teacher of French hates him; he`s not happy at home, for his mother doesn`t love him, and his father isn`t even his real father; and his mother wanted an abortion in the first place. He starts stealing things, leaves home several times, his parents don`t know what they should do about their child, because they don`t know what to do about themselves. At some times the film is funny, at others it is sad as a weeping willow, but it still is an enjoyment to watch. There`s one scene I especially like - it`s a lesson in sports where the children run through the streets of Paris after their teacher and on every corner a few of them leave, and in the end the teacher is left all alone by himself.

The first season of Black Adder wasn`t particulary good although it did have some moments of brilliance. Atkinson plays too much of his ugly Mr Bean character here, he`s not witty enough for my taste I gotta say. He is the prince of the UK yet he doesn`t have any power and he is sly but he isn`t really clever, and mostly what he does is attaching penis-shaped armour and talking like his balls were cut off. I guess the series would be quite good, were it not for Atkinson himself - the other characters are no worse than in the other parts of the series. Every episode has some good gags but it doesn`t save the series as a whole from being unsatisfying.

I remember close to nothing about this book, only that it was written as a modernized version of the original "Confessions" (by J.J.Rosseau if I`m not wrong). I also seem to remember that it was a life story of a man, and that when he was little the woman who was paid for to nurse him used to put him to sleep by sucking on his tiny weenie (if I`m not going crazy and imaginating that). The man became a filmmaker supposedly, and I supposedly liked this book, but I didn`t like it more than words can say.

Do you like films about cops? If you like them you`ll probably decide that you can watch this film. Starsky & Hutch originally was a 70`s TV series about two stupid but totally good looking cops. And now we have a full time feature film about these two characters. Starsky is played by Ben Stiller while Owen Wilson is Hutch. These two guys already worked together in "Zoolander" and in "Meet the Parents". And here we go again. The film actually pretty much reminds of the "Zoolander" but this time it isn`t very good. What about the plot? Some drug dealer has found a way to make cocain impossible to find by dogs, and he wants to sell a huge amount of this cocain to resellers. And here do the heroes step in. And they do it with style - killing a pony, showing their pretty body to a pervert sitting in the jail, participating in disco dancing competitions - you got it. What I don`t like is the fact that disco music sucks, that the film is stupid, uninspired, boring and not funny. Apart from that - there`s nothing that can save this film from being an atrociuos piece of garbage.

Who the hell is John Malkovich? Isn`t it the guy who played in the film about the bank robbers? No, that`s not him - it`s what you can learn by watching this film. Craig Schwartz is a puppeteer, and he can`t get no work (despite the thought from "GTA3" where a man says "Were you kept in a box? Guys with puppets get chicks!"). No, he can`t get a job as a puppeteer, but his wife Lotte offers him to take just some job to get some money. And he finds a job as a filer for a strange company that`s residing between two floors of a huge builing. And on this floor he finds a portal through which you could enter the mind of actor John Malkovic for ten minutes. Together with Maxine - a colleague of his - for whom he lusts - he opens a business of being John Malkovic. It turns out that Maxine and Lotte fall in love but since they are no lesbians they achieve their love by Lotte entering John Malkovic and Malkovic being together with Maxine. But Craig learns to take over Malkovic`s mind and to push Malkovic himself out of it. In the end though there are some more twists, I don`t really want to explain. But what I want to say is that it`s one hell of movie! It`s really something special. It`s mystical, it`s funny, it`s scary - it twists your mind like a Bender (from Futurama), and after watching the film you have a hard time putting your mind together again).