Kazhes pierakstu burtnīca

A horror movie about zombies! Why do those weirdos call films about thos flesh eating no-good slackos "horror films"? They`re about as tremendously dangerously horrific as a piece of German cake. German nazi cake as the birthday present to our beloved fuehrer Adolph Bush Junior. What was I talking about? Sex, sex, sex, it`s all they think about nowadays... a young man ain`t got nothing in the world these days. Man, am I stupid.

This album lacks two things TL are best known for - hard rockin` guitars and lots of Irish influences. Instead it has a lot of sappy ballads, which probably have interesting lyrics, but musically apart from "It`s only money" there`s very little this album can offer. It surely ain`t as bad as really bad but it`s so generic, so pathetically uninsteresting that I don`t even want to describe it.

Mr. Moriac represents the old school of French literature yet he`s also deeply connected with the new one - he ain`t really as modern as Prouste but he doesn`t care about the action like the old school writers did. "Therese" is the story of a woman that`s married without love and that tries to poison her husband without a one good reason - but because she`s dissatisfied with her life and that her ideals lie with a weird Jewish guy who doesn`t care about her (or anyone else as a matter of fact). So the novel is probably what Therese would tell to a priest in terms of her sins or something like that. Quite touching, not too touching though. Mauriac got a Nobel prize by the way.

DK were undoubtely one of the most interesting punk bands in existence. Apart from being more intelligent and technically advanced than most of their peers they differ from bands like "Ramones" and "Sex Pistols" with being much more anti-establishment oriented than the already mentioned "Pistols" who basically were the "New Monkees". DK are agressive, Jello Biafra sings as if he had no teeth in his mouth but as is if the capitalists had ripped his guts or done something nasty to his grandma. Their debut record boosts a group of uber-cool, uber-agressive and uber-satiric songs: including "California uber alles", "Holiday in Cambodia", "Kill the poor" and "Let`s lynch the landlord". The first song of theirs I ever heard was "Kill the poor" which I had on some bizarre CD titled smartely "Best of rock". Back then I didn`t particulary enjoy this song, but nowadays I consider it one of the finest statements punk music has given to the world. Being so alternative the Kennedys still pay very much attention to making their songs stand out, with excellent memorable melodies and catchy choruses. They even do a cover of Elvis`s "Viva Las Vegas" without a doubt outdoing Sid Vicious and "My Way", because the band sounds so hardcore that I can even imagine becoming a fan of hard core punk music.

This book by the eastern German she-writer doesn`t get too much recognition nowadays - even on amazon.de you won`t find a single review of it. I`m not really sure why - probably it has something to do with the fact that the book is poorly written and uninteresting. It`s probably about a couple of Eastern Germans going to Yugoslavia in order of getting married, and on the way or already being there the bride tells a lot of boring stories to her groom which would probably cancel the wedding in real life because Paul (that`s the groom) would leave Bella for some cheap Yugoslavian slut he`d pick up in a crack joint. In this book he doesn`t do that and nothing really happens. A borefest galore.

Gee, it`s a romantic comedy with Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda. The former isn`t exactly an actress, more like a singer with an enormous ass and certain capabilities in acting. The latter is a famous actress that just happens to be pretty old and yet somehow hasn`t been in a single film I`ve even heard about. So together they form the rivalry of a woman that wants to marry Kevin whom she loves and Kevin`s mother who thinks that Charlotte (Lopez) is too bad for her son. As you can probably guess this film is so cliched that I`m even ashamed of using the word "cliched" describing it. Not that it really bothers me - this film may be a collage of "Legally Blonde" (which was one of the films this director without a name did before), "Bridget Jones`s Diary" (with the exception that Lopez`s character is much more generic than that of Zellweger) and "Meet the Parents/Fockers" with the exception that nobody flushes the dog in the toilet. Yet, since I hadn`t at least seen any other JLo`s film before it didn`t strike me that she`s about as diverse as Angus Young of AC/DC. I did have my laughs, I didn`t have my two hours of high art, so basically it was a good deal for a film that I could watch at cinema without having to pay. Only it occured to me that it would be very smart of the cinema establishment to provide me with free popcorn. Not that I liked popcorn that much but it would still be nice.

I`m not really what made me listen to this. You see, I watch quite a lot of films, and I don`t usually listen to the soundtracks accompanying each and every one of them. "Mr&Mrs Smith" wasn`t exactly a bad film but I`ve seen better. Anyhow, the soundtrack is basically in the love-hate thematics and it`s done by various artists and not by some dude named David Horner or Various Artists (that`s a name and not "various artists"). Some of the songs were known - such as "Tainted love", "You`ve lost that lovin` feelin`" and "You are my sunshine". My favourite though is "I used to love her (but I had to killer)" - a positive hymn of a guy killing his lover. A lot of the songs have a banner "damned eighties!" waving all over them. As a matter of fact "Poison" is one of the bands that made onto this record - and it ain`t the only poodle rock outfit on the CD.

This was one perfect time for me to start reviewing films for my work. What can be better than a French version for the infamous stupidity of "Jackass" - the greatest TV show for teenage masochists MTV has ever come up with (apart from maybe a "Bon Jovi" marathon and the rise and fall of "Kiss"). A plot do you ask from me? Why of course not the case in this situation. (like my spelling and the word orded you might not but siht is the plot of the film). A porn flick would probably have more substance than this one. Naked bodys are present in this film but sexy they are not. Cameo appearances by Jibril Cisse and Amelie Mauresmo don`t really change the whole thing to be much better. It`s good that I didn`t pay for watching this film. It`s bad that the organisers didn`t pay ME for watching this film.

You may know the name of Carlos Santana, the leader of this band. He`s the fellow you must have seen on MTV on the videos for famous songs "Maria" and "Smooth". But surely this Santana ain`t the Santana of late nineties. Yet this isn`t exactly the early Santana that performed at Woodstock, this still is a real latino sound but the power of the Woodstock days has long gone. Yes, Carlos for sure knows how to play his guitar and some of the melodies on this album are quite interesting but not that interesting as you`d want. Singing doesn`t really appear much on this album, that`s not that bad probably but man are those latinos sleep inducing. Ok, I may be in a sleepy mood today but even if I weren`t I doubt that I`d call this record something for uber-activity.

The Bonzo Dog Band made its name having one of its singles produced by Paul McCartney. Later on one of its most important members - Neil Innes joined up with Eric Idle from "Monty Python" and they did the Beatles mockumentary "The Rutles". On this record you can see one great example of combining music and comedy (much more than on the Rutles album which was more about the music and less about the comedy). The opening track "Hunting tigers out in Africa" is my favourite, yet the hit single "I`m the urban spaceman" ain`t no worse as a matter of fact - with it`s uplifting melody the spaceman song sounds like an outtake from a Beatles recording session. The best way to describe this is to imagine that this band consisted of Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Eric Idle and, say, Michael Palin. The missing link between the Beatles and "Monty Python`s flying Circus" has at last been found, and it does a groovy song about "Ali Baba" that sounds just as if it came from a Soviet comedy, weird as it is. High art it ain`t, pretentious it ain`t, it`s just your fun record.